Selfless vs Selfish

Our culture today seems to be more concerned with one’s rights than doing what is right. People tend to think that selflessness means giving up their rights and the pursuit of one’s own good as the highest of pursuits. One might think that people are confused; that the culture has blinded them to the blessings of selflessness, but the selfishness we see today has been the struggle of mankind since the beginning and it is ingrained into the American psyche. The pursuit of happiness was considered an unalienable right in the Declaration of Independence; people’s right to happiness has become more important that the Biblical concept of dying to self and putting others first.

The media, books, movies, advertisements, even some pastors promote the idea of “me first.” Of course no one would say they are promoting “me first” or selfish thinking, but in fact, they are. People deserve happiness, so, rather than work on a marriage that is floundering, they walk away to pursue their happiness. People are so wrapped up in what they want and need or what their spouses are not giving them that they fail to see their own shortcomings. People will do all sorts of selfish things without calling it what it is; they may use boundaries to get their way or to avoid doing things they don’t want to do or they will manipulate in a variety of ways. Selfishness doesn’t have to be learned, children display selfishness at a very young age. It is something that must be kept in check; we cannot allow it to creep into our lives.

Selflessness doesn’t come naturally; we must cultivate in ourselves and in our children. It is a matter of dying to self and submitting to God. Selflessness does not mean that we have no boundaries or give in to anything anyone else wants. We have to walk the fine line between serving and being subservient. We are to give of ourselves, not be doormats for people to walk all over. The Bible tells says that in humility, we are to consider others better than ourselves. We should not only look to our own interests, but also to the interest of others (Philippians 2:3-8). Selflessness means that we humble and available to help others in need; to be the hands and feet of Christ in this world. Do you consider your spouse first before yourself? Can you truly say you put him or her first? Die to self, put your spouse first; I think you will find the results fulfilling in ways you couldn’t have even imagined.