Patience vs. Passivity

Patience, often meaning “longsuffering” is a great quality and even listed as an attribute of the “Fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians chapter 5. This patience (or tolerance of others) is a great asset in marriage helping couples accept their differences and work together to resolve the problems they face in life. We can also think of this as “contentment” – being content where we are at rather than constantly looking for something more or something better. One writer defined patience as a ‘conscious decision to accept one’s place in the world, to recognize his or her limitations as well as the weaknesses of others, and to live in a state of calm readiness.’ It is not waiting for life to happen, but accepting the inconveniences and annoyances of life with humility and gentleness.

Passivity on the other hand is the lack of will; allowing outside influences to guide and shape a person, refusing to make decisions and giving into being taken care of while showing a lack of regard for others’ needs. The patient person cares about others and gives them grace. The passive person might appear to care about what others think, but in reality, cares only about him or herself. A passive person may tell others to be patient and that he is just an easy-going, laid-back person, but often uses his so-called patience as a cover for his lack of will and even as a way to control others. Passivity masked as patience leaves the work of life and relationship to the other person and injures, even kills relationships.

The question is; are you patient or are you passive? The passive person always looks for the better life, but rarely has the will to doing anything to make his or her life better. Problems are always about someone or something else, spouse, employer, circumstances – there is always something that keeps the passive person from accomplishing goals. The patient person is content, but also works toward goals. This person has healthy boundaries, accepting ownership of what is his and taking responsibility for his behavior. He changes what he can and leaves the rest to God. Healthy, productive relationships require patient people. Be a patient person.