Boundaries can be especially confusing in the
marriage relationship. The ideas of oneness, loving as Christ loved, giving of
self, and submission seem to argue against boundaries. Yet, the concept of
boundaries does not refute these ideas and actually works to increase their
effectiveness in marriage. Lack of boundaries is a major problem in marriages.
A husband or wife may suffer
through the problems of the spouse until they have had enough and
then leave the marriage. They think freedom from their spouse’s problems means
freedom from their spouse. Yet, very often they have contributed to their
spouse’s problems by never setting healthy boundaries that would allow the Lord
to work in their spouse’s life.
A healthy marriage relationship takes the
work of two people. One can only do his part in the relationship; the rest must
be left up to the Lord. Setting boundaries to change a spouse will not work,
that is manipulation. Setting impossibly difficult boundaries will drive a spouse
away rather than help build a healthy relationship. Husbands and wives do many
things to injure and even destroy their marriage relationship, but it does not
have to be this way. Healthy boundaries are a cornerstone of a healthy, fortified marriage that
will grow and flourish.
