Conflict in marriage is inevitable; husbands and wives are just too different. Too often, conflict between husband and wife is hurtful and breaks down the relationship rather than build it up. Friends, this should not be! Healthy conflict resolution is possible, but successfully working through conflict involves 4 levels:
1. Biblical Ideals: Dying to self, living for others, having an attitude of humility.
2. An Attitude of Collaboration: Working together to achieve a common goal; as Dr. Tim Kimmel wrote,“The goal of discussion should always be unity, never victory.”
3. Principles of Healthy Communication: There are principles by which we can keep every conversation or conflict healthy such as; no “I” statements, no attacking, listen before responding, etc…
4. Using Communication Tools: There are many great communication tools to help couples work through any conflict. Discover, learn, and use one or more of the tools.
Paul wrote: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29) When those divergent or different views, wants, or desires come up, we must remain calm and seek to resolve that conflict in ways that will build up the relationship, rather than tear it down. Conflict may be inevitable, but hurt does not have to come from the disagreement. Use the resources below to help improve your communication.