Trouble: Experiencing problems, difficulties, or adversity

      Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7 that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life.” We live in a broken world - a world crying out for the return of the Savior. Trouble is a fact of life, yet when most couples experience trouble, they react as if they can not believe trouble could happen to them. Statistics show that couples believe the fairy tale that they will marry and live happily every after. Divorce rates skyrocket for those who experience financial difficulties, long-term illness, or loss of a child. For heaven’s sake, people are now divorcing when they experience the difficulties of aging. This is not what God meant for marriage! Marriage is meant to be a natural support mechanism when we experience trouble.
     Jesus told us that we would experience trouble in the world, but that we could take heart, because He has overcome the world (John 16:33). Problems, difficulties, and adversities should not surprise us and should be a time when we pull together as a couple, not allow those troubles to drive us apart. Carmen and I have experienced tremendous difficulties throughout our marriage. Sin within our marriage, trouble with children, financial loss; the list is quite long. We haven’t make it through the troubles because we are such great Christians; at times, it has been very difficult, but by God’s grace and strength, we have faced the troubles together. We have grown (in our faith and in our marriage relationship) because of and in spite of the trouble we have faced.
     There isn’t some secret that we can impart to you for working through difficulties; there isn’t some formula of seven steps to working through adversity. It is a matter of knowing that trouble will come in life and then trusting the Lord and focusing on Him through the trouble. Get help; through trusted friends, the church, counseling if needed, we are not meant to walk through trouble alone.
     Couples can also prepare before the adversity comes. Preparation involves building the foundation for a strong, growing marriage and continuing the work of building relationship:

    Pray together daily
    Build and maintain healthy boundaries
    Use healthy communication tools

    Grow in intimacy
    Meet each other’s needs
    Connect with others

     You cannot avoid pain and loss in life. How will you handle it? Will you run from adversity or depend on Christ and grow through it?

Faith: Belief that leads to action

       Faith is part of the Christian life from beginning to end. Christians say they have faith - that they trust in God, but do we see that faith in their lives? In their marriages? Hebrews 11:1 tells us that “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” The writer goes on to say that ‘without faith it is impossible to please God.’ We are saved by grace through faith, but that faith should be seen in how we walk in life, and again, in our marriages. James brought this point out even stronger when he wrote that “faith apart from works is dead.”

      Faith is an active trust in God, a belief in what He says is true that results in action. So, whether we are dealing with uncertainties in the world - which will always be the case, as the world groans for the return of our Lord and Savior, or are dealing with problems in our marriage and family, we are to remain focused on Christ - the author and perfecter of our faith. The Saints before us demonstrated their faith through their actions and we are to do the same - to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and run the race marked out for us with perseverance (Hebrews 12).

      The order of Scripture is to: know the truth, believe the truth, walk in the truth, and then the feelings will follow. We may feel tremendous uncertainty - we must walk in the truth that our sovereign God is in charge and knows what He is doing. Do we take precautions? Certainly! Do we just march into danger as if the Holy Spirit were some sort of magic cloak protecting us? No! We serve a God greater than any circumstances that we may face in this world; we must trust in Him and walk in that trust. We cannot allow fear to rule our lives. Through knowledge of God’s word, prayer, and walking in the Spirit, we can live lives empowered to walk boldly in our Lord.

     Faith enables us to walk victoriously unified as husband and wife. It helps to keep us focused on the Lord when we experience difficulties in life or in our marriage and family. Faith lived out in action helps build strong marriages that will withstand the storms that will come in life. Where is your faith? Are you shaken by the troubles seen in the world? Does fear immobilize you? Stand firm in your faith in Jesus Christ and encourage and build up your spouse helping them to focus on the Lord, trusting in Him. Walk and stand together.