All Marriages Are Unique

If asked, we all would say, ‘yes, all marriages are unique,’ but if we believe this to be true, why do we pronounce some marriages good, some bad, and why do we all have our own view of what a successful marriage looks like? What about the “traditional” marriage, so many long for? We tend to use our beliefs about marriage to judge other marriages and their health. Yes, there are guidelines for marriage – the Bible provides everything we need for successful marriages, but each marriage is unique and very different. When we marry, we merge two completely different people with very different family backgrounds. We need to use our individual strengths and abilities to create a marriage that works for us a couple.

There are a lot of misconceptions about marriage; the idea that the husband leaves home in the morning; works all day and then comes home to put his feet up, while the wife, who has worked all day dealing with children and a myriad of other tasks, serves him in his favorite lounge chair. This is what is known as the “traditional” marriage and while it only really existed in the 1950s and 60s; many people hold it up as the ideal in marriage. The problem is that it is not biblical. The biblical marriage is one in which the couple works together in all areas of life; they do what it takes to complete the tasks required each day. They are supposed to be a team!

I think of Billy and Ruth Graham. The ministry of evangelism, his “job” per se, consumed much of his time, and while Ruth may have been more involved caring for their children, she was an integral part of his ministry. After Ruth’s death, Billy stated that; “She was a vital and integral part of our ministry, and my work through the years would have been impossible without her encouragement and support." When Billy was home from the “ministry,” he was very involved in the family. They were a team working together and while their circumstances and lives were much different than yours or mine, we can learn from Billy and Ruth as we seek to build our own strong, healthy marriages that will uniquely glorify Christ.