The Chinese Christian leader, Watchman Nee wrote, "It is exceedingly ugly in the sight of God for the forgiven person to be unforgiving, for the one who has received mercy to be merciless, and for the one to whom He has given grace to not be gracious to others." Yet, too often, we, who have received much grace, do not offer grace to our spouse - the person we profess to love more than anyone else in the world.
Your spouse will fall short; he or she will sin in some way on a pretty regular basis. You will have arguments and will probably say hurtful things to one another. Extending the frace you have received from God to your spouse is essential to a Christian marriage, a marriage according to God's design. This doesn't mean that you don't address sin, but criticizing every mistake and lapse of your spouse will only drive you apart. Judging your spouse and getting them to do things right is not your job, leave that to God.
Grace requires humility; you will not give grace when you judge your spouse or think yourself better than him or her. You must examine your own motives; are you focused on the wrong your spouse does? Or are you focused on helping him or her become a better person? Grace seeks the best for your spouse and the Bible teachs that your are to give your spouse grace - to offer love, kindness, and goodwill even if they don't do things right.
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