Boundaries in Marriage

Boundaries can be especially confusing in the marriage relationship. The ideas of oneness, loving as Christ loved, giving of self, and submission seem to argue against boundaries. Yet, the concept of boundaries does not refute these ideas and actually works to increase their effectiveness in marriage. Lack of boundaries is a major problem in marriages. A husband or wife may suffer through the problems of the spouse until they have had enough and then leave the marriage. They think freedom from their spouse’s problems means freedom from their spouse. Yet, very often they have contributed to their spouse’s problems by never setting healthy boundaries that would allow the Lord to work in their spouse’s life.

A healthy marriage relationship takes the work of two people. One can only do his part in the relationship; the rest must be left up to the Lord. Setting boundaries to change a spouse will not work, that is manipulation. Setting impossibly difficult boundaries will drive a spouse away rather than help build a healthy relationship. Husbands and wives do many things to injure and even destroy their marriage relationship, but it does not have to be this way. Healthy boundaries are a cornerstone of a healthy, fortified marriage that will grow and flourish.