Western vs Eastern Marriage

As I’ve studied marriage, not only the Bible, but in culture and history, it is interesting that while there are many differences and nuances to marriage around the world, there is a distinct difference between eastern and western marriages. Western marriage tends to be based on the individual and hence the “love marriage” idea prominent in western culture today. But more than the idea of having to fall in love with another person to marry him or her, it seems that western marriage tends to be the individual first – even before the marriage relationship. In contrast, eastern marriage tends to be centered on the family first. Arranged marriages are the norm and couples tend to follow the suggestions and even the edicts of their parents in regard to marriage.

I understand that not every western person puts the individual first and not every eastern person puts the family first, but I think everyone can agree that individual first or family first is the tendency for western and eastern marriages. So the question is, which one is Biblical or more Biblical? In reality, the answer is neither and both. There are Biblical examples of both western love marriages and eastern arranged marriages. The problem arises when the individual or the family is put first. Biblical marriage means that God is put first, not the individual or the family. Men and women are to leave their families and cleave to their spouses, not the family. Likewise, we see Biblically, that we are to humble ourselves and serve our spouses, the other is more important than the individual.

We need to move past our cultural and self-centered conceptions of marriage to the Biblical ideal of marriage. Marriage should be an earthly representation of the very nature of God. As we see Father – Son – Holy Spirit in the God-Head, we also see Husband – Wife – Children. There should be unity, community, singleness of purpose represented in the marriage relationship as we see in the very nature of our God. There should be no room for selfishness, self-centeredness, or the interference from outside forces in the marriage relationship. Love, compassion, grace and mercy should characterize the marriage relationship. Too often today, we Christian couples living out their lives and marriage relationship in other than Biblical ways – it is time to things God’s way instead of the individual’s way, the family’s way or the culture’s way.