Selfishness Kills Marriages

Selfishness Kills Marriages

It is really amazing that people can be so selfish and self-centered. And Christians! There doesn’t seem to be much difference between Christians and non-Christians when it comes to selfishness. The culture today really has permeated the church; ‘life is about me and I’m going to do what makes me happy.’  This seems to be the motto of life for people today. The Word of God? People only take from it what they want and discard what doesn’t fit into their plan for their lives. People take and take and take, but only give out of their abundance. Give of themselves? When it is convenient and fits into their schedule.

In marriage it’s even worse – people remain in marriages as long as their spouses make them happy or don’t fail them in any way. It is a travesty that people divorce for any and every reason. They throw out Matthew 19, not only for adultery, but to justify their divorce as “Biblical” so they can go find their “true” soul mates. Somehow they skip the part about the ‘hardness of one’s heart’ being the true reason they want a divorce. So many people justify treating their spouse badly because of some faux pas the spouse made. Or for a sin confessed and repented of. Yes, hurt and sin need to be addressed, but once addressed it needs to be left alone! Quit being so self-centered!

OK, I’m melancholy today and on a rant of sorts. People, especially Christians, have got to quit being so selfish! Marriage is not about what I can get or should get or about my happiness. It is about giving to another person; loving one person (your spouse) so much that you would give him or her anything. It also would mean that you wouldn’t squawk or cry or throw a tantrum because he or she messed up. Galatians 6:1 says that those caught in sin are to be restored gently. I’d love to hear about someone doing that to their spouse. What a concept; to humbly go to your spouse and gently address the sin he or she committed. Can it be done? Sure if we do things God’s way and not our own selfish way. If we killed selfishness, marriages would survive and even thrive!