Romance is critical to the marriage relationship, but too often couples neglect the romantic part of their relationship. It is important to keep romance alive in your relationship, but realizing that it will take some time and energy. There are several misconceptions about romance; romance is not a feeling, an emotion or contrary to what some “experts” have written, it is not a stage in marriage. Romance is sharing and giving of yourself – the little – and big – things you do to say, “I love you” and let your spouse know that he or she is special.
Two myths about romance pervade our culture today: first, that the feelings of love at the beginning of a relationship are romance. Some people are addicted to these feelings and jump from one relationship to another in an attempt to maintain the euphoria they feel during this period. Those “feelings” are the chemical reaction in the brain God put into humans so that we would bond and attach to one another. Couples need to move beyond this “enchantment” and toward maturity in their relationship. The second myth is similar in that many people believe that romance is a stage of marriage and mature love moves past it and gets on with life. There may be commitment, but there is no fire in the relationship and it is sad to see, because there can be so much more.
When a couple cultivates romance in their marriage, it builds intimacy and enhances their relationship. We may not experience the “feelings” of love every day, but with some creativity and a little work, the fire can keep burning. The Song of Solomon and Proverbs 5:18-19 speak to need for romance in marriage. There can be a desire for your spouse, but you must do something to cultivate it. Discover and speak your spouse’s love language, have a date night weekly, or at least once a month, do loving things for your spouse daily – be creative and have fun! Remember, babysitters are less expensive than marriage counselors.
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