Cows and Sheep

1 Corinthians 11:3 states that man is head of the woman. And in that line of thinking, it tells us that the wife is to submit to the husband. This certainly is true – but – and this is a huge exception – the man is ‘to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.’ Jesus is to be our model, our example.  How does He lead? As a shepherd leads his flock. We see the analogy of a shepherd and his flock throughout the Bible, and in the New Testament the analogy is used as a direct example of our relationship with Christ. He is the shepherd; we are the sheep. In this same way as we lead our family, we are to be the shepherd.

Sheep are led by a shepherd who cares for them and calls for them to follow him where he is going. Cows are driven by a cattle driver who pushes and yells at them to make them go where he wants them to go. Men who drive their wife and children may get the job done, but they won’t build good relationships with their families. Men who lead their wife and children will show the way by their consistency and encouragement. Jesus is the shepherd and He is our example. 

Men, think about how you want to be directed, by being pushed and prodded into doing what is right? Or by being led by example receiving encouragement along the way? Which way do you lead your family – as sheep or as cattle? Jesus demonstrated His headship by dieing for mankind. Are you willing to die to self to demonstrate your headship? Are you willing to be that example of commitment and faithfulness to your family? Are you willing to live the life you want your wife and children live?

Sacrifice

Third part of this series on sacrifice and submission: Today we discuss sacrifice. Sacrifice is not a popular term in today’s culture. Life in our culture tends to be about me; making me happy and fulfilling me – even in the Christian church! This is not the life taught by Jesus Christ. He taught what He lived out in His life on earth; a life of sacrifice, of giving, of serving, and of dying to self and putting others first. Christ sacrificed everything for us! He left the comfort and bliss of Heaven to enter into a sinful, dark, horrible world, walked the dusty, dirty roads of Judea enduring the scorn of the very people He came to save and then allowed Himself to be tried, derided and hung on a cross for our sins. That my friends, is sacrifice!

Christians are urged to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God (Romans 12:1). They are told to imitate God – loving as much as Christ loved and gave Himself up for us as a sacrifice (Ephesians 5:1-2). Christ is our model and we are to sacrifice ourselves and serve others, putting others first. It is not easy to do, but when we sacrifice, it is an incredible testimony to our Lord. The early church knew this well! People did not become Christians lightly in the first centuries of Christianity. People knew it would cost them in prestige and often monetarily, and it might even cost their life. We have lost this focus of sacrifice as a way of life.

While all Christians are to sacrifice, men are especially called to sacrifice themselves for their wives. Ephesians 5:25 states; “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Not only did Christ die on the cross for the church, but we must remember that He also chose to leave the glory of Heaven and live as a human for 30 years knowing He was going to the cross. Men likewise are to sacrifice for their wives. They are to die to self and give themselves for their wives. Not abdicating leadership, but serving their wives, taking care of their wives, being concerned for their wives, seeking to meet their wives’ needs. If Christian husbands did just these three things, there would be some serious changes in marriages throughout the church.

Submission

As a continuation of last week’s blog, I’m going to wade into that mine field of topic; “submission.” First, we must realize that there is a Biblical mandate for submission. We are all to submit to God, governmental authorities, church leaders, employers and each other as Christians. This is not always an easy thing to do – especially for certain personality temperaments. Submission is a matter of humility and considering others better than ourselves as seen in Philippians 2:3. Brothers and sisters; this should be our aim in life! Christ came to this earth not to be served, but to serve (Mat. 20:28) and we are to grow into His likeness. It does not mean we are timid, subservient creatures, but like Christ, we are to be totally and completely submitted to God and His will for our lives.

Everyone will agree with the fact that, Biblically, we are to submit, but now we get to the sticky part; ‘wives submitting to their husbands.’ It is not a popular statement in today’s culture, but Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18, Titus 2:5 and 1 Peter 3:1 all point out that wives are to submit to their husbands. This is also Biblical folks! Like it or not, and argue all you want whether the Greek word “kefaleé“ means “head” or “source,” the fact is wives are called to submit to their husbands. Why? Ephesians 5:23 states that, “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” This does not mean that the wife is subservient to the husband – she is one with him, they are equal, but the husband is to be the leader, demonstrating submission by his submission to God and leading his family in God’s ways. When both husband and wife are submitted to God, submission between them is not going to be a problem!

Speaking directly to wives; you are to respect your husband (Eph. 5:33) and build him up, being his strength, his strong right arm. Do you do that? Or are you the nagging, hounding wife trying to get his attention by bringing up the same things over and over and over again? Proverbs 27:15-16 says that, “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.” Proverbs speaks of quarrelsome wife five times. Yes, a wife must confront sin and misguided decisions and between two Christians he is to listen to her, but too many wives are quarrelsome and nagging, rather than uplifting and bringing her husband good not harm (Prv. 31: 12). You are to be a team, working together meeting the demands and challenges of life. The submitted wife works with her husband, not against him.

Sacrifice and Submission

Submission can still be a hot topic today, but for the most part the discussion has been swept away under the guise of ‘only fundamentalists talk about submission.’ “Conservative” Christians attempt to assert the Biblical mandate of submission, but it really only serves to alienate and polarize people. Most people today, even in the church, do not have a Biblical view of submission. The problem is that, in our individualistic, “me” oriented culture no one is submitted to God. On occasion, I will bait Christian men with the question; “Do you want to make your wives submit?” Some will nod in the affirmative with wide-eyed anticipation; others will cross their arms with a skeptical look of ‘where is this going?’ When I tell them that they need to demonstrate submission, they all groan or roll their eyes. I have not had one man say, ‘tell me more, I want to demonstrate submission to God as example for my wife.’

Likewise, sacrifice does not seem to be a part of the Christian vocabulary today. Yes, Jesus was the sacrifice that gave us reconnection with the Father, but too often sacrifice is viewed in the negative; God wants mercy, not sacrifice (Matt 9:13) or sacrifice is something Christ did for us. We are not taught that we are the sacrifice. Romans 12:1 tells us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices and Ephesians 5 admonishes us to be imitators of Christ and give up ourselves as offerings and sacrifices to God. Early Christians knew the cost of discipleship – they could lose everything, even their lives for declaring themselves Christians. Today, it seems that we not willing to sacrifice anything to be Christians. The fact that the average Christian gives $5 a week to his church bears this fact out. Heaven forbid, we ask that one gives up his “freedoms” so that he can be holy and set apart for God.

Interestingly, Paul addressed sacrifice in Romans 12 and submission in Romans 13. In the next couple of weeks, we will look at these two concepts individually. Christians are to live sacrificially and more specifically, husbands are called to sacrifice for their wives: “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph 5:25). Christians are also to live in submission; first to God, but also to governmental authorities, church leaders, employers, each other and more specifically, wives are called to submit to their husbands. Christians should demonstrate lives of sacrifice and submission – this shouldn’t be the man versus woman contention it has become, but that is what happened with the fall isn’t it?