There is a myth
in society today that is often perpetrated by marriage researchers and writers.
That myth is that women multi-task and men don’t. Some men will argue that they
can also multi-task, giving the example of working on the computer and talking
to their wives – I used to believe that one; but too many instances of my wife pointing
out evidence that I was not really listing to her proved that I truly was not
multi-tasking. Oh yes, we can chew gum and walk at the same time – in fact we
breathe while we are walking, talking and doing everything else, so that proves that we multi-task? That is not
really multi-tasking and not what people are speaking of when they say they can
multi-task. People think they can do two simultaneous complex activities at the
same time. It simply is not true.
Have you ever seen a
woman talking to a friend with her small child standing at her side, saying, “mom,
mom, mom, mom…”? If the child cannot get her attention by calling her, often the
child will resort to misbehavior to get his or her mom’s attention. The vast
majority of us cannot carry on a meaningful conversation while conducting other
activities and we need to stop trying the “multi-tasking” thing, especially when
in conversation with spouse or children, and, in reality anyone. It is not
respectful and not honoring of the people in our lives. I think if anyone could
multi-task, it would be Jesus, but there is no evidence that He attempted to
multi-task; when He spoke to someone, He gave His undivided attention to that
person.. We need to do likewise; give our undivided attention to our spouse or
our children when talking to them. We need to be fully in the moment; not
texting, writing emails, watching TV, reading or anything else. Honoring a
person by listening totally and completely is the right thing to do.
