The marriage relationship, according to God’s plan, is a relationship of unity and common purpose. It is a relationship where husband and wife work together as a team to resolve problems they encounter and accomplish their goals. They use their differences to better meet the challenges and fulfill God’s purpose for them. In short, they collaborate. That collaboration, that working together doesn’t happen without being purposeful and deliberate as recorded in Amos 3:3; “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
Collaboration is a great concept for marriage - when two or more people collaborate, they are working together toward a common goal. We know there are going to be many challenges and some definite problems in life and when we collaborate, we are utilizing our differences, our individual strengths and abilities to meet those challenges and problems. Whether we face financial difficulties, problems with children, job or relationship problems, or anything else, we will better meet those difficulties when we face them together as a team. It doesn’t mean that we will necessarily agree on the best way to resolve problems, but it does mean that we will focus on the problem, not each other. We won’t allow our differences to become the problem.
To effectively collaborate we must drop the ‘my way is the way to handle the problem.’ It requires a humility and acceptance of the fact the our spouse has valuable input into the resolution of any problem or the accomplishment of any goal. One person may be a “financial expert” while their spouse has no training in the area, but if the “expert” doesn’t at least objectively consider what his or her spouse has to say, they are perhaps missing a point of view that may save loss and pain down the road.
Will you collaborate with your spouse? Will you work with him or her to discover the best solution to problems you encounter? To achieve your purpose and goals a couple? The challenge is to put aside your pride and preconceptions to seek healthy resolution to the problems you encounter. Be purposeful and deliberate about walking together with your spouse.